Tuesday, August 30, 2011

diatribe against dog

     let's talk about the dog.  his name is charger and, quite frankly, he bugs me.

     i know he lived here for at least a year before i moved in, but miss ellis has known me for twice as long as she's known him.  PLUS, i don't drool all over the carpet or splash water on the floor when i'm refreshing myself.  i consider myself to be polite, well-read (we all know dogs just chew on books), and impeccably dressed.  clearly, i am the superior pet.

    but miss ellis doesn't see it that way.  the moment she enters the door each night, that beast is jumping up and down, just begging for her attention.  and she gives it to him.  just gets right down on his level and lets him kiss all over her face.  why would she even let a creature that spends so much time licking his nether regions get near her face!?!  that is beyond me.

     that dog is a camera hog.  the two pictures i've had taken since i moved have included him.  here's one of him invading my space the day i got here.  normally i don't mind visitors, but the moment one tries to sniff MY nether regions, i deem him an unworthy acquaintance.  good luck convincing me you're not so bad after all, buddy.



      this next picture is one i cropped charger out of.  in the original, you can see his long snout poking its way into the shot.  honestly.  don't i look just fabulous, though?  see how nice i keep my coat?  i bet you've never seen one quite as lustrous as this one.  but, i dogress...er, digress...



     anyway, i know that miss ellis loves me, but that dog is still in my way.  if you have any suggestions as to how i can secure the position of #1 in her heart (and possibly rid the world of that meddling dachshund), i'd really like to hear them.  you can tell me via comments or slide a little note into my cage.  it's the big one on the hearth.  you can't miss it.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

allow me to introduce myself

     my name is mr. nibbles, but they call me mr. nibbs. i'm not your average guinea pig. in fact, i've done more in my 3 years than most people do in their entire lives.
     when i came to my first home away from the pet store, i was greeted by the henry family. soon afterward, they left me to go on vacation to chicago. i was not alone, but left in the care of a lovely girl named miss ellis. she's a 3rd grade teacher and she treated me very well. it was during that summer that my feelings for miss ellis blossomed from mere appreciation to true love. i was smitten.
     i knew that i only had 10 days with her before my family came home, so i had better make the most of it. we went all over the place during those days. here are some pictures that miss ellis snapped of my escapades.


     miss ellis thought i needed to remember my first pigloo in case i ever moved to a new house. she said something about upgrading to a two-story eventually.

     even though it was summertime, we decided to hop aboard a school bus and take a tour of little rock. apparently they don't mind if a guinea pig borrows a bus, so long as he holds a valid arkansas license and has proof of insurance.

     we drove out of town a little ways to a farm so that i could stock up on timothy grass, which is one of my favorite snacks. we loaded it onto the bus, but since there weren't windows or a roof, my beloved treat was gone with the wind.
     when the 10 days were up, i was heartbroken. i asked miss ellis to kiss me goodbye and i made sure we had a picture of the event for me to cherish always.


     for a while, i stayed with the henrys, but was soon forgotten when lucy, their new dog, moved in. i decided a change in scenery would be good for me, so i went to live with the henrys' cousin, meghan until she moved to nashville. apparently, there was no room for a little guy like me. well, i guess me, along with all my accouterments, might take up a little more space than i thought. i wasn't sure where i was going from meghan's. i wasn't even sure if they knew, but i was delighted to find that the henrys had made arrangements for me to live with miss ellis. i couldn't be happier, even with charger constantly sniffing me in inappropriate places and luna putting on airs. i guess she was right about that two-story...